Hi blog. So, I'm 18 now, I guess that's cool and worth noting...kinda, not really.
Let me take a few minutes to do one of my 'OMG my mother sucks and my life is just sooo FML because I'm a dramatic teen at heart' posts.
My mom likes to go on long (I'm talking 20 minutes minimum) rant-lectures on how I'm so quiet and unlikable and therefore have no friends and zero social life. She likes to point out how if I were prettier or cared what other people thought, I'd have tonssss of people to hang out with.
Then, whenever people ask me to hang out with them, I tell her and she acts all confused 'Oh, why are they asking you to do that?' Then she goes on about how they're probably just inviting me out because they feel bad for me or are just trying to embarrass me. Depending on what we're doing, she'll find a way to turn it into 'well you can't do that because you're blind and _____'. If nothing else works, she'll start pointing out how my friends are suuuuch bad influences because they, IDK, have piercings, tattoos...boyfriends, anything that she sees unfit. I told her yesterday that I planned on getting a nose piercing. She informed me that 'only disgusting street girls or lesbians get nose piercings...do you want people to think of you like that?'
I know she doesn't do these things to hurt/offend me, that she thinks she's protecting me or...something, and I try not to let them get to me, but sometimes it just gets to be too much-like today-a I just feel like screaming. I guess I could go out or do whatever without her consent-I mean, she never flatout says 'no', and my dad almost expects me to go out, but...I just hate having her mad at me. She has this way of making me feel like I disappointed her, and I hate that feeling and hurting her and...Sigh. I dunno.
To cancel on M or not...
Aaaand so ends rant.
I think it's time for a jog.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Many the Miles
All these day sfeel like a blur, just passing by one after the other without anything really standing out, without me really doing anything worth telling. That's not necessarily a bad thing, I just hope eventually they become more...eventful.
Well, they will in the fall, when I go off to Hattlan/school, but that's so far off. Idk, I kind of need to be doing something. I feel so unproductive...and as soon as I start doing something, I know i'll probably complain about how much I have to do. I'm strange.
I've decided that trying to figure out my own emotions is pretty pointless, and I've noticed I don't care as m uch as I used too. Though, this all does make for some pretty awesome songs that I'm actually proud of writing.
I feel like taking a long walk on the beach, or a boat ride, or a midnight stroll, or something of that genre. Midnight stroll sounds most appealing at the moment, but that may be because it's umm, midnight.
I have to get up unusually early to spend the day with Krys tomorrow. I'm excited...and nervous. I almost never get to see her, and there's this whole bff then not talking for 3 months that we've got going on. We're just so different, and i guess that's what balances out, makes us work...but idk. She's only there halftime and it's become so hard to trust her...same old story I've been telling for the past 16 months. But I don't want to let go of this friendship.
Idol fanfics are my current addiction: so good, so horrible, wonderfully horrible. Guilty pleasure, for sure. Creepy, creepy guilty pleasure...much like all ffs, in a way.
Pretzel M&Ms are pretty amazing too. I think I like themmore than peanut M&Ms, and you can be sure that was hard to admit.
"Say Goodbye"--Katharine McPhee is. completely. beautiful. The metaphors and the emotion and the story and her voice...just, AHHH.
But you are the only exception
And I'm on my way to believing.
Well, they will in the fall, when I go off to Hattlan/school, but that's so far off. Idk, I kind of need to be doing something. I feel so unproductive...and as soon as I start doing something, I know i'll probably complain about how much I have to do. I'm strange.
I've decided that trying to figure out my own emotions is pretty pointless, and I've noticed I don't care as m uch as I used too. Though, this all does make for some pretty awesome songs that I'm actually proud of writing.
I feel like taking a long walk on the beach, or a boat ride, or a midnight stroll, or something of that genre. Midnight stroll sounds most appealing at the moment, but that may be because it's umm, midnight.
I have to get up unusually early to spend the day with Krys tomorrow. I'm excited...and nervous. I almost never get to see her, and there's this whole bff then not talking for 3 months that we've got going on. We're just so different, and i guess that's what balances out, makes us work...but idk. She's only there halftime and it's become so hard to trust her...same old story I've been telling for the past 16 months. But I don't want to let go of this friendship.
Idol fanfics are my current addiction: so good, so horrible, wonderfully horrible. Guilty pleasure, for sure. Creepy, creepy guilty pleasure...much like all ffs, in a way.
Pretzel M&Ms are pretty amazing too. I think I like themmore than peanut M&Ms, and you can be sure that was hard to admit.
"Say Goodbye"--Katharine McPhee is. completely. beautiful. The metaphors and the emotion and the story and her voice...just, AHHH.
But you are the only exception
And I'm on my way to believing.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Defying Gravity
It's about 11am. It's super sunny and pretty outside, and I'd much rather be out there right now. The only downfall to this weather is the huge amount of bugs that come out...so gross.
My brother's on the treadmill and I'm impatiently waiting for him to finish so i can use it.
Mom and I spent the 4th of July day at the mall, buying clothes I still insist I do not need. (Other than the Paramore shirt, that i definitely needed.) Afterwords we watched Remember Me. It was good because it was so...real. Sad, but so good. And I could tollerate Robert Patinson in this, which wasa plus. We climbed on the roof to watch fireworks when it got dark. We could've just watched from our backyard on lawn chairs like normal people, but I actually wanted to see them and the roof wasn't blocked by trees and whatnot, so I ignored the fact that I could potentially fall and end up severely broken and just chilled...it wasn't bad. I think my dog's scarred for life, but it's okay.
I get to see Carly in a couple of weeks, and that day needs to get here now. Stoked to hear her amazing accent in person. (That's weird...nvm. but seriously) I've never heard of any of the other bands playing, and I haven't looked at the ticket prices because I'm scared, but I'll make it happen.
Volunteering with the animals has been fun, even though I haven't gotten to do much yet.
What I'm obsessing over today may include...
"Adore" by Paramore: I don't even think this needs an explanation LIsten to it and tell me it's not amazing.
Pretzel bites: because they are delish. Even though I find myself wiping off 90% of the sugar while my mom complains that that's the best part.
Uh, the Bachelorette's on tonight...ahem, anyhow. gonna go hurry up my brother. Hope you all have amazing Mondays:)
“I don’t mean to run
But every time you come around
I feel more alive than ever
And I guess it’s too much
Maybe we’re too young
And I don’t even know what’s real
But I know I’ve never wanted anything so bad
I’ve never wanted anyone so bad…”
My brother's on the treadmill and I'm impatiently waiting for him to finish so i can use it.
Mom and I spent the 4th of July day at the mall, buying clothes I still insist I do not need. (Other than the Paramore shirt, that i definitely needed.) Afterwords we watched Remember Me. It was good because it was so...real. Sad, but so good. And I could tollerate Robert Patinson in this, which wasa plus. We climbed on the roof to watch fireworks when it got dark. We could've just watched from our backyard on lawn chairs like normal people, but I actually wanted to see them and the roof wasn't blocked by trees and whatnot, so I ignored the fact that I could potentially fall and end up severely broken and just chilled...it wasn't bad. I think my dog's scarred for life, but it's okay.
I get to see Carly in a couple of weeks, and that day needs to get here now. Stoked to hear her amazing accent in person. (That's weird...nvm. but seriously) I've never heard of any of the other bands playing, and I haven't looked at the ticket prices because I'm scared, but I'll make it happen.
Volunteering with the animals has been fun, even though I haven't gotten to do much yet.
What I'm obsessing over today may include...
"Adore" by Paramore: I don't even think this needs an explanation LIsten to it and tell me it's not amazing.
Pretzel bites: because they are delish. Even though I find myself wiping off 90% of the sugar while my mom complains that that's the best part.
Uh, the Bachelorette's on tonight...ahem, anyhow. gonna go hurry up my brother. Hope you all have amazing Mondays:)
“I don’t mean to run
But every time you come around
I feel more alive than ever
And I guess it’s too much
Maybe we’re too young
And I don’t even know what’s real
But I know I’ve never wanted anything so bad
I’ve never wanted anyone so bad…”
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Who Cares if you Disagree?
Hi. It's 1:30am. I'm wide awake. This situation is a most annoying one when I have to get up early/am superduper bored/no freakin' one is still awake for me to talk (rant annoy) to.
Today was strange. It's funny how sleeping can really clear up your thoughts...make you more content with things, situations. I'm kind of over the angst whatever that took me over last night after I started thinking hardcore about relationships and what I missed and whatnot. Whatever happens happens, and I think I'll just leave it at that.
Family drama has progressed as expected, and alcohol is annoying when it mixes with my dad and moody mother. In other words, brunch tomorrow is gonna suck, assuming we even go out for it. I don't even know, and I really do try not to care. I don't enjoy negative angry people. They bring out the negative annoying fmlmylifesucksraaaaaawr side in me. I figure, the more I can avoid feeling that way, the better. (Though it does help when I wanna write a new poem or song...which reminds me of the guitar I have yet to buy. Those 300 dolars are just waiting, waiting to be spent....it's sad, really. They haven't been able to live out their mission of providing me with a new musical instrument...)
Some Disney show is on in the background(i think it's that sweetlife one where they live on the boat...?) *changes it to Fresh Prince* Ah, that's better.
I was hoping that writing out these incredibly boring things would somehow bore me into sleepiness...i think i'm more awake than before. I've been reading Glee fanfics for the past hour, I don't even...so bored.
Obsessions?
"King of Anything": which, really, has been an obsession since the day it was released. Sarah is a genious, her voice, the lyrics, everything. I love her wording, her bluntness, the way it's so humorous yet can be taken seriously...seriously, I want her writing skill.
Wicked: Which I have been inloveloveloveeee with since I was 13, when our choir sang "For Good" for a music festival. I went to one of the shows last year and it was basically one of the best things I've ever gotten to do. I need a repeat of that. (Although the fact that I'll never get to see it with the original cast still makes me sad...)
This blog is pointless, so pointless. (to publish or not to publish...hmm)
Anyways, gonna go watch this show and read more Glee and bore myself into sleep somehow. HAPPY FOURTH!
Roses are dry, violets are black
And I can be cruel, just like you
Tables have turned, can't help but laugh
Saying we're through, just like you.
Today was strange. It's funny how sleeping can really clear up your thoughts...make you more content with things, situations. I'm kind of over the angst whatever that took me over last night after I started thinking hardcore about relationships and what I missed and whatnot. Whatever happens happens, and I think I'll just leave it at that.
Family drama has progressed as expected, and alcohol is annoying when it mixes with my dad and moody mother. In other words, brunch tomorrow is gonna suck, assuming we even go out for it. I don't even know, and I really do try not to care. I don't enjoy negative angry people. They bring out the negative annoying fmlmylifesucksraaaaaawr side in me. I figure, the more I can avoid feeling that way, the better. (Though it does help when I wanna write a new poem or song...which reminds me of the guitar I have yet to buy. Those 300 dolars are just waiting, waiting to be spent....it's sad, really. They haven't been able to live out their mission of providing me with a new musical instrument...)
Some Disney show is on in the background(i think it's that sweetlife one where they live on the boat...?) *changes it to Fresh Prince* Ah, that's better.
I was hoping that writing out these incredibly boring things would somehow bore me into sleepiness...i think i'm more awake than before. I've been reading Glee fanfics for the past hour, I don't even...so bored.
Obsessions?
"King of Anything": which, really, has been an obsession since the day it was released. Sarah is a genious, her voice, the lyrics, everything. I love her wording, her bluntness, the way it's so humorous yet can be taken seriously...seriously, I want her writing skill.
Wicked: Which I have been inloveloveloveeee with since I was 13, when our choir sang "For Good" for a music festival. I went to one of the shows last year and it was basically one of the best things I've ever gotten to do. I need a repeat of that. (Although the fact that I'll never get to see it with the original cast still makes me sad...)
This blog is pointless, so pointless. (to publish or not to publish...hmm)
Anyways, gonna go watch this show and read more Glee and bore myself into sleep somehow. HAPPY FOURTH!
Roses are dry, violets are black
And I can be cruel, just like you
Tables have turned, can't help but laugh
Saying we're through, just like you.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
And When the World Treats you Way too Fairly
"I’m strong on the strong, not all the way through. I can’t cry in public, I don’t speak my mind, I start laughing when I want to cry, I spend most of my
days waiting for those who end up letting me go too easily. I don’t know who I am. I’m cryptic, and I read too far into things. I cry for no reason, I
get randomly sad. I protect those around me and I leave myself wide open to be hurt. I’m weak. My best friend is my iPod. I’m afraid. I’m too curious.
I can’t keep my mouth shut about things that have to do with who I like, but I can’t allow myself to say what’s really on my mind. I’m easy to hurt, and
when I trust someone enough to let them in, they hurt me more than those who I feel like would hurt me. I miss people too much, and I hate people too much,
and I also love people too much. I never trust anyone completely.
And I’m really not as great as people think I am and I’ll just end up disappointing you in the future."
...Okay, so I'm overdosing on blog posts today (tonight), but this quote appeared on my tumblr dash, and it just pinpointed the only thing that's been bugging me to a tee.
I'm happy, very happy, but...
I don't know, I feel like this undisclosed person basically wrote out how I feel on a daily basis when it comes to interacting with other people. It isn't who I want to be, but it's hard to break free from it. It's scary to let your guard down. It's scary to speak your mind and take responsibility for the aftermath. It's scary to cry and look vulnerable. It's terrifying to get attached to other people, to submerge yourself in their world, because...for me, I'malways so afraid of hurting those I care about. And yet, I feel like I do it regardless.
....I don't know, it's late. I have too much time to think.
Where's your gabbble,
Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well sentence me to another life.
days waiting for those who end up letting me go too easily. I don’t know who I am. I’m cryptic, and I read too far into things. I cry for no reason, I
get randomly sad. I protect those around me and I leave myself wide open to be hurt. I’m weak. My best friend is my iPod. I’m afraid. I’m too curious.
I can’t keep my mouth shut about things that have to do with who I like, but I can’t allow myself to say what’s really on my mind. I’m easy to hurt, and
when I trust someone enough to let them in, they hurt me more than those who I feel like would hurt me. I miss people too much, and I hate people too much,
and I also love people too much. I never trust anyone completely.
And I’m really not as great as people think I am and I’ll just end up disappointing you in the future."
...Okay, so I'm overdosing on blog posts today (tonight), but this quote appeared on my tumblr dash, and it just pinpointed the only thing that's been bugging me to a tee.
I'm happy, very happy, but...
I don't know, I feel like this undisclosed person basically wrote out how I feel on a daily basis when it comes to interacting with other people. It isn't who I want to be, but it's hard to break free from it. It's scary to let your guard down. It's scary to speak your mind and take responsibility for the aftermath. It's scary to cry and look vulnerable. It's terrifying to get attached to other people, to submerge yourself in their world, because...for me, I'malways so afraid of hurting those I care about. And yet, I feel like I do it regardless.
....I don't know, it's late. I have too much time to think.
Where's your gabbble,
Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well sentence me to another life.
Friday, July 2, 2010
You've got a Piece of me, And Honestly...
Hi again. *waves*
So I'm currently watching one of these ghost shows...and trying to not listen, because I'm already freaking out. Kid ghosts are just...AHHH. I swear I just heard something behind me.
...you think i'm kidding but i'm not.
Anywho, today was alright. Went to lunch with Krys, came home, watched countless videos from the AI tour, then skyped with Arielle for a few...hours. I'm so sad she's leaving for so long. She's one of the people i've grown closest too, and I'll miss that cutie. Seriously, I think we're unbiological sisters. (She's the littler one, of course.)
I ate a fudgecicle (SP?) for the first time today, and probably the last. Way too chocolatey. I need to get my nails done. They are insanely chipped.
So, you know when there's someone you were into for a long time, and then you started to get over said person...and then idk, they kind of re-entered your life, around the same time that they were in your life the previous year, and you start to miss them and stuff? No, it's just me? Cool. Mkay. I don't know if it's just nostalgia, wanting things to be like they were a year ago, or if I'd even be able to let myself fall for said person again, or if they'd even be interested...ughh i de kay. (Falling Slowly just came on iTunes and I'm not sure what it's trying to tell me, but I do not approve. And no, I'm not trying to drown out the ghost story by turning on iTunes. I am not afraid. Not at all. Not. No--omg, what was that?)
Currently trying to decide whether I want to see We are the Fallen or Katelyn this month...if I can't find someone to go to Katelyn's show with, I'll probably end up just watching WATF, which is a bummer, cause I'm dying to see curly too. I've also decided that I'm slowly becoming obsessed with Katie Stevens, who I non-subtly couldn't stand during the actual competition. Sigh. It's easy for people to win me over, i guess.
A new ghost story is starting, I'm actually gonna try to watch. Peace.
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Iether way I found out
I'm nothing without you.
So I'm currently watching one of these ghost shows...and trying to not listen, because I'm already freaking out. Kid ghosts are just...AHHH. I swear I just heard something behind me.
...you think i'm kidding but i'm not.
Anywho, today was alright. Went to lunch with Krys, came home, watched countless videos from the AI tour, then skyped with Arielle for a few...hours. I'm so sad she's leaving for so long. She's one of the people i've grown closest too, and I'll miss that cutie. Seriously, I think we're unbiological sisters. (She's the littler one, of course.)
I ate a fudgecicle (SP?) for the first time today, and probably the last. Way too chocolatey. I need to get my nails done. They are insanely chipped.
So, you know when there's someone you were into for a long time, and then you started to get over said person...and then idk, they kind of re-entered your life, around the same time that they were in your life the previous year, and you start to miss them and stuff? No, it's just me? Cool. Mkay. I don't know if it's just nostalgia, wanting things to be like they were a year ago, or if I'd even be able to let myself fall for said person again, or if they'd even be interested...ughh i de kay. (Falling Slowly just came on iTunes and I'm not sure what it's trying to tell me, but I do not approve. And no, I'm not trying to drown out the ghost story by turning on iTunes. I am not afraid. Not at all. Not. No--omg, what was that?)
Currently trying to decide whether I want to see We are the Fallen or Katelyn this month...if I can't find someone to go to Katelyn's show with, I'll probably end up just watching WATF, which is a bummer, cause I'm dying to see curly too. I've also decided that I'm slowly becoming obsessed with Katie Stevens, who I non-subtly couldn't stand during the actual competition. Sigh. It's easy for people to win me over, i guess.
A new ghost story is starting, I'm actually gonna try to watch. Peace.
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Iether way I found out
I'm nothing without you.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Don't Waste the Pretty on Pain
Hola July, where the hell did you come from?
Because seriously, like, yesterday it was December and I was in a fluffy hat and uggs that didn't come close to matching, and a few hours ago I was awaiting college letters and AI was starting and it was March, and an hour or so ago it was May and stores put out tank tops and skirts that seem to shrink in length every year, and about half an hour ago I was graduating and sun was scorching and mosquitos were out for the kill in the evenings.
...or, at least, that's how it feels. July seemed so far away...and then, BAM. June flew by in a blur of days that mixed in together all in the 'meh' department.
I'll be 18 this month--which isn't really a big deal because come on, what can you do at 18 iether than buy lottery tickets in the USA?--but still, I suppose it's something to look forward to, if only for the birthday cake...
We had a benifit concert last night for one of our choir singers who has brain cancer. It was a full house, 10 dollar donation per person+silent auction+extra donations+bake sale in the lobby, and I'm so glad that so many people came out to help out this family, despite maybe not knowing the girl personally. I used to tutor her when she was younger, and it's surreal that something like this is happening. I mean, she's doing so well right now, but something like this is so unpredictable and changes day by day, so I'm afraid to be happy right now. A neighbor recently passed away from cancer as well, and she had also been doing extremely well...one complication later, and there was nothing that could be done. I can't even process how much lives change in the blink of an eye due to diseases like this. It makes me so sad and desperate to find something, some sort of cure for them...even though I know I won't, I wish there was a way I could. I watched my grandma go from 100% to irreversable in a matter of weeks, and even though I know so many other people have been affected more deeply, and that life is not fair, I just...I don't know. Humans have so much control, and yet none at all. But I guess it all happens for a reason.
Onto a lighter topic, because it just feels wrong to be so somber when iTunes is playing "here Comes the Sun."
Umm...
I see the american Idols in 44 days. ...And I really wish I wasn't counting down for this. It's embarrassing, really, but their first show was tonight, and I've read through so many pre/post-show interviews, stalked youtube for videos, and it's hard not to be giddy.
I'm in the process of writing out some sort of opinion on the setlist for each contestant to appear on a more Idol-based tumblr post somewhere, but I haven't really gotten past writing out each person's name/song list. Hi, I'm ADD.
Didi Benami: She opened the show with something from the Rescues, which increases her cool factor by a lot. And "Terrified" isn't a surprise at all, but it's a fan favorite, so I guess it helps get them hyped up for the show...and her voice doesn't sound half bad on it iether. I do wish she'd done something acoustic, because slow songs highlight her unique voice so perfectly, but alas, the producers always want upbeat songs to kick off the night.
Andrew Garcia: ...is doing "Straight Up", who apparently everyone but me loves. Then again, I have never been a fan of his. "Sunday Morning" is equally predictable.
Katie Stevens: "Here We Go Again"....really Katie? I mean, I'm thrilled she's covering Demi, since she really needs to do something "younger", but out of all the Demi songs...she chose this? "Fighter" on the other hand, I cannot wait to hear live. Katie's no Xtina, but I'm sure she'll do it justice...
Tim Urban: His songs are...a little surprising, I guess. Not that we'll be able to hear him over the screaming tweens. Sigh. (Now, see, if Alex would have made it instead of him, I would be much more enthusiastic about it...)
Siobhan Magnus: K, first off, this girl could sing the phone book and I'd pay my 50 dollars or whatever to watch her. Secondly, her killer intro+Paint it Black+wail=perfect start to her set. I did not expect a No Doubt song, but it works. And the Muse WAS KILLER. The finishing WAILLLLLLLL on her knees (no sexual inuendo necessary) made the kids go wild. Everyone says she got the best audience response tonight. I could not be happier to be a "siobonbon".
10-6 group number: "The Climb". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...can. not. take. seriously.
Aaron: He has a good voice. Much better than I remember it. Even so, too country and dull for me. The highlight was "Walking ih Memphis."
Michael Lynche: I watched an episode of Man Vs. Food yesterday, in which the dude consumed this 5-pound grilled cheese sandwich with 14 cheeses. Big Mike's set was cheesier than that. He has a good voice, and he's rarely off-pitch, but...it's just not my thing. It's like R&B in the bedroom and at church all at once. So strange. So AI season three.
Casey James: Can I touch his hair? Please? Or, can we trade hair? His Shania cover is probably my fave of his set...but I have yet to see actual video footage. I hope the whole holding notes that sound like a bleating sheep issue has been worked on with 19 Entertainment's vocal coaches. I'm excited for him, nonetheless.
Crystal BowErSox: BRB, dying over the fact that I'll get to hear her do "Come to My Window", "Up to the Mountain", "What's Up" among other things. I just love this woman. I just wish she'd been allowed to play one of her originals, because they. are. amazing.
Casey+Michael duet: I prayed to the AI gods that they would not do it. But they did. Sigh.
(Lack of Crystal-Lee duet: RAGE)
Lee DeWyze: I did not see "The Boxer" on his setlist. Please someone tell me they forgot to put it up. I'm just not excited for Lee.
Closing group numbers: The girls showed up the guys, or maybe I just like that Kelly song more.
...i will now copy+paste that above rant and try to make it sound more intelligent, and then apologize for posting it here. Sorry. Hah.
Anywho, I'm currently trying to decide whether I want to volunteer at the local animal shelter, or an elementary school. I babysit, so maybe animals would be a nice change.
This past week has gone opposite of how I'd hoped, which sucks, but whatever. Better luck next time. New month, new start...I suppose.
Currently obsessed with...
The new McDonald's iced coffees: Because seriously, how can you be a coffee addict and not be. So. good. So so good. And yet....so bad. But still, so good. *inner-thought process every time I go to order one*
"Just Like You"--Allison Iraheta: Perfect 'I'm so over you and this heartbreak BS you put me through' song. If you know me personally, you'll understand why it hit so close to home.
The Bachelorette *mortified look* I'm trying to think of a way to justify this...I don't even know. It was on one day, I was going through AI withdrawals, so I started watching. You know those shows that you just hate so much/are just SO bad, and make you suffer from second-hand embarrassment, yet you can't look away? Yeah. For the record, Ali was my fave on the Bachelor, so I'm glad it was her as the bachelorette instead of one of the others. (Someone make me stop watching, please.) I hate the concept, yet I can't look away. Like one of those bad Youtube covers...
I'm gonna go uh, not fangirl over Crystal's performances.
Until next-pointless ramble-time, blog.
PS: Allison I's acoustic "Don't Waste the Pretty" is pretty obess-worthy in my world too. It just came up on iTunes and I was reminded of this. I don't know why I felt like posting that.
PPS: "New Moon" was way Better than "Eclipse", and Bella and Edward annoy the hell out of me. (Not the actors, the characters. I figure any Twilight fan would've given up on reading this blog somewhere before now, and therefore won't see this and come hunt me down at midnight....)
PPPS: No, nothing is spell checked. No, I do not feel like spell checking. Yes, every spelling/grammar error will drive me insane if I ever read through this...
People change
And will you still be here after today?
Trouble is, I feel like I could win or lose it all
I don't know which way to fall.
Because seriously, like, yesterday it was December and I was in a fluffy hat and uggs that didn't come close to matching, and a few hours ago I was awaiting college letters and AI was starting and it was March, and an hour or so ago it was May and stores put out tank tops and skirts that seem to shrink in length every year, and about half an hour ago I was graduating and sun was scorching and mosquitos were out for the kill in the evenings.
...or, at least, that's how it feels. July seemed so far away...and then, BAM. June flew by in a blur of days that mixed in together all in the 'meh' department.
I'll be 18 this month--which isn't really a big deal because come on, what can you do at 18 iether than buy lottery tickets in the USA?--but still, I suppose it's something to look forward to, if only for the birthday cake...
We had a benifit concert last night for one of our choir singers who has brain cancer. It was a full house, 10 dollar donation per person+silent auction+extra donations+bake sale in the lobby, and I'm so glad that so many people came out to help out this family, despite maybe not knowing the girl personally. I used to tutor her when she was younger, and it's surreal that something like this is happening. I mean, she's doing so well right now, but something like this is so unpredictable and changes day by day, so I'm afraid to be happy right now. A neighbor recently passed away from cancer as well, and she had also been doing extremely well...one complication later, and there was nothing that could be done. I can't even process how much lives change in the blink of an eye due to diseases like this. It makes me so sad and desperate to find something, some sort of cure for them...even though I know I won't, I wish there was a way I could. I watched my grandma go from 100% to irreversable in a matter of weeks, and even though I know so many other people have been affected more deeply, and that life is not fair, I just...I don't know. Humans have so much control, and yet none at all. But I guess it all happens for a reason.
Onto a lighter topic, because it just feels wrong to be so somber when iTunes is playing "here Comes the Sun."
Umm...
I see the american Idols in 44 days. ...And I really wish I wasn't counting down for this. It's embarrassing, really, but their first show was tonight, and I've read through so many pre/post-show interviews, stalked youtube for videos, and it's hard not to be giddy.
I'm in the process of writing out some sort of opinion on the setlist for each contestant to appear on a more Idol-based tumblr post somewhere, but I haven't really gotten past writing out each person's name/song list. Hi, I'm ADD.
Didi Benami: She opened the show with something from the Rescues, which increases her cool factor by a lot. And "Terrified" isn't a surprise at all, but it's a fan favorite, so I guess it helps get them hyped up for the show...and her voice doesn't sound half bad on it iether. I do wish she'd done something acoustic, because slow songs highlight her unique voice so perfectly, but alas, the producers always want upbeat songs to kick off the night.
Andrew Garcia: ...is doing "Straight Up", who apparently everyone but me loves. Then again, I have never been a fan of his. "Sunday Morning" is equally predictable.
Katie Stevens: "Here We Go Again"....really Katie? I mean, I'm thrilled she's covering Demi, since she really needs to do something "younger", but out of all the Demi songs...she chose this? "Fighter" on the other hand, I cannot wait to hear live. Katie's no Xtina, but I'm sure she'll do it justice...
Tim Urban: His songs are...a little surprising, I guess. Not that we'll be able to hear him over the screaming tweens. Sigh. (Now, see, if Alex would have made it instead of him, I would be much more enthusiastic about it...)
Siobhan Magnus: K, first off, this girl could sing the phone book and I'd pay my 50 dollars or whatever to watch her. Secondly, her killer intro+Paint it Black+wail=perfect start to her set. I did not expect a No Doubt song, but it works. And the Muse WAS KILLER. The finishing WAILLLLLLLL on her knees (no sexual inuendo necessary) made the kids go wild. Everyone says she got the best audience response tonight. I could not be happier to be a "siobonbon".
10-6 group number: "The Climb". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...can. not. take. seriously.
Aaron: He has a good voice. Much better than I remember it. Even so, too country and dull for me. The highlight was "Walking ih Memphis."
Michael Lynche: I watched an episode of Man Vs. Food yesterday, in which the dude consumed this 5-pound grilled cheese sandwich with 14 cheeses. Big Mike's set was cheesier than that. He has a good voice, and he's rarely off-pitch, but...it's just not my thing. It's like R&B in the bedroom and at church all at once. So strange. So AI season three.
Casey James: Can I touch his hair? Please? Or, can we trade hair? His Shania cover is probably my fave of his set...but I have yet to see actual video footage. I hope the whole holding notes that sound like a bleating sheep issue has been worked on with 19 Entertainment's vocal coaches. I'm excited for him, nonetheless.
Crystal BowErSox: BRB, dying over the fact that I'll get to hear her do "Come to My Window", "Up to the Mountain", "What's Up" among other things. I just love this woman. I just wish she'd been allowed to play one of her originals, because they. are. amazing.
Casey+Michael duet: I prayed to the AI gods that they would not do it. But they did. Sigh.
(Lack of Crystal-Lee duet: RAGE)
Lee DeWyze: I did not see "The Boxer" on his setlist. Please someone tell me they forgot to put it up. I'm just not excited for Lee.
Closing group numbers: The girls showed up the guys, or maybe I just like that Kelly song more.
...i will now copy+paste that above rant and try to make it sound more intelligent, and then apologize for posting it here. Sorry. Hah.
Anywho, I'm currently trying to decide whether I want to volunteer at the local animal shelter, or an elementary school. I babysit, so maybe animals would be a nice change.
This past week has gone opposite of how I'd hoped, which sucks, but whatever. Better luck next time. New month, new start...I suppose.
Currently obsessed with...
The new McDonald's iced coffees: Because seriously, how can you be a coffee addict and not be. So. good. So so good. And yet....so bad. But still, so good. *inner-thought process every time I go to order one*
"Just Like You"--Allison Iraheta: Perfect 'I'm so over you and this heartbreak BS you put me through' song. If you know me personally, you'll understand why it hit so close to home.
The Bachelorette *mortified look* I'm trying to think of a way to justify this...I don't even know. It was on one day, I was going through AI withdrawals, so I started watching. You know those shows that you just hate so much/are just SO bad, and make you suffer from second-hand embarrassment, yet you can't look away? Yeah. For the record, Ali was my fave on the Bachelor, so I'm glad it was her as the bachelorette instead of one of the others. (Someone make me stop watching, please.) I hate the concept, yet I can't look away. Like one of those bad Youtube covers...
I'm gonna go uh, not fangirl over Crystal's performances.
Until next-pointless ramble-time, blog.
PS: Allison I's acoustic "Don't Waste the Pretty" is pretty obess-worthy in my world too. It just came up on iTunes and I was reminded of this. I don't know why I felt like posting that.
PPS: "New Moon" was way Better than "Eclipse", and Bella and Edward annoy the hell out of me. (Not the actors, the characters. I figure any Twilight fan would've given up on reading this blog somewhere before now, and therefore won't see this and come hunt me down at midnight....)
PPPS: No, nothing is spell checked. No, I do not feel like spell checking. Yes, every spelling/grammar error will drive me insane if I ever read through this...
People change
And will you still be here after today?
Trouble is, I feel like I could win or lose it all
I don't know which way to fall.
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