"I’m strong on the strong, not all the way through. I can’t cry in public, I don’t speak my mind, I start laughing when I want to cry, I spend most of my
days waiting for those who end up letting me go too easily. I don’t know who I am. I’m cryptic, and I read too far into things. I cry for no reason, I
get randomly sad. I protect those around me and I leave myself wide open to be hurt. I’m weak. My best friend is my iPod. I’m afraid. I’m too curious.
I can’t keep my mouth shut about things that have to do with who I like, but I can’t allow myself to say what’s really on my mind. I’m easy to hurt, and
when I trust someone enough to let them in, they hurt me more than those who I feel like would hurt me. I miss people too much, and I hate people too much,
and I also love people too much. I never trust anyone completely.
And I’m really not as great as people think I am and I’ll just end up disappointing you in the future."
...Okay, so I'm overdosing on blog posts today (tonight), but this quote appeared on my tumblr dash, and it just pinpointed the only thing that's been bugging me to a tee.
I'm happy, very happy, but...
I don't know, I feel like this undisclosed person basically wrote out how I feel on a daily basis when it comes to interacting with other people. It isn't who I want to be, but it's hard to break free from it. It's scary to let your guard down. It's scary to speak your mind and take responsibility for the aftermath. It's scary to cry and look vulnerable. It's terrifying to get attached to other people, to submerge yourself in their world, because...for me, I'malways so afraid of hurting those I care about. And yet, I feel like I do it regardless.
....I don't know, it's late. I have too much time to think.
Where's your gabbble,
Your jury?
What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well sentence me to another life.
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