Love, Save the Empty

"Questions fill my brain. The answers are probably simple. Yet I feel like Dora the Explorer. The tree is right in front of me and I can't find it unless
you shout out the answer. I could find the answers, but I need a little push."

That's how I feel most of the time. With everything

With school, with trying to solve equations or trying to figure out a story's theme. I know these things, I understand them, but I don't know...it's like a switch, maybe. I don't think I'm making sense. But that's how I feel for most things. Most questions I get asked. It's not that I don't know what I want, what I'm feeling, what my opinion is, it's just that...I have trouble putting emotions into words at times, I guess.

Anyways...
An issue at hand...

I try to do everything in my power so the people around me are happy...if they're happy then my day will be ten times better despite whatever's going on. I don't want to hold anyone back from experiencing it, or even holding them back from potentially being happy, or happier-especially if it's someone I care for.
A year-and-a-half ago I said long-distance relationships could work for me-that if you really cared about a person, then distance would just be an obstacle and nothing more. I guess that's still the case, but, I think there's more to it. I think a lot of people view long-distance relationships as kind of a joke; a way to date more than one person at once, or some sort of online game. I know that's not the case for the person I'm with, or me, but still, that doesn't make things much easier. I think that after being with a person for a certain amount of time you kind of need to...actually be around them, face-to-face. I didn't think I really needed that connection, but I find myself craving that with someone more and more. And I know that that's impossible in the foreseeable future with the person I'm dating, and it sucks.
And I want this person to be happy. Really happy with her relationship. If being with someone closer to her will accomplish that, then she deserves to be with that person. Sometimes I feel like staying in this relationship thing we've got is causing more hurt than not...idk, it's so, not the usual. And I know I'm not the easiest person to talk to, or to get true emotions from, and people don't deserve to have to deal with that. Maybe...I don't know, iether way I'll be fine...maybe I should address this with said person directly instead of writing a rushed blog post to explain things...

Just for the record, I'm always there for people at the endo f the day if they need me for one reason or another...despite what goes on between me and them.

Today was productive. Very much so. I liked it. I feel like I actually accomplished things. I went to the rally for once. And Now I have to get ready for the choir concert and try to finish off chem before the show.

Who's ready to belt out Carol of the Bells??

...not me.
-Peace