To Ten Million Fireflies...

Dear Anon. un:

You frustrate me like no one else. You make me want to tear my hair out 90% of the time...and more often than not I really don't want to be around you. And I kind of don't have a good reason for feeling like this...it's just the way it is. And I refuse to lash out at you-I refuse to break in front of you again. And I shouldn't have to, you shouldn't bother me as much as you do.

Because...
that other 10% of the time?

You make me feel glorious and do everything and more for me. And then you make one comment without thinking and it starts to fall apart again. I don't know how to make myself stop caring about those little comments...I don't know if you even know they affect me. Maybe some day I'll tell you.
<3

Anon Deux:

*sigh*
...That alone should be able to describe our relationship...it's never been a wordy one at that. I never really understood what having someone under a spell felt like until I met you. There are soooo many things I don't like about you, but I'd do anything if you asked me too. Just don't ask me for anything anymore.

<3

Dear Anon. Trois:

When we were eleven mom said we were the perfect future couple. She pickedout our wedding dress. I called you and we laughed about it for hours. And then I started to wonder...if maybe I wanted that same thing. The husband and the 2.5 kids and the dog and white picket fence. I didn't, but I tried to talk myself into it. It seemed so natural...people seemed so happy with that life. I'm pretty sure I had a pretty good-sized crush on you somewhere in my thirteenth year of life, but I don't think/want that feeling to ever come back. You're the only one I feel completely comfortable around, but I will never be able to look at you in a romantic light-I hope this feeling goes both ways. Sometimes I wish I could, though...it might make things a lot easier. But nah...

<3

Dear Anon. Quatre:

I don't get you. I really don't What the hell?
You're basically everything I hate with some good thrown in there somewhere...and you're like, one of my closest friends. And I'd be there for you even if I knew you were wrong and even if I didn't agree with what you were doing, which happens all-too-often. I hate your negativity, but I love you. I guess friendship really does see past all faults..

<3
Dear Anon. Cinq:

Just kiss me, please? So I can see that it's not so amazing-so I can stop thinking about how amazing we would be together. I just want a chance at winning over your heart, and I know it's never gonna happen. I can't put it into words, I just...I just want you. Any part of you, it's better than what I've always had of you: nothing. C'est la vie, I guess.

<3

Dear Anon. Six:

Stop confusing me. Stop giving me reasons to like you in a way I probably shouldn't. You're everything I look for...you're not my first choice, to be perfectly blunt, but you're everything i look for. You are what I envision in a person I want to be with. And...I don't know. Am I reading too much into our friendship? Is this little schoolgirl crush thing way out of line?

<3

Dear Anon. Sept:

i hate to say it, but I miss you. A lot. I miss past Christmas holidays spent staying up until dawn, playing 'Acoustic Hearts of Winter', looking at crushes' Myspace profiles, drinking cold coffee, eating pizza and Christmas cookies, talking about everrrrrrrrything. Shopping at the Oaks for each others gifts, and walking around aimlessly to pass the time. Stalking up on candy and catching a movie at the Jans, before hitting Dream Coffee or Starbucks and then mi house. I want to blame you for the falling appart of our friendship, but I can't, not fully anyways. I mean, maybe you deserve some of the blame, but I must've done something too. I don't know what it was, but if I could change it, I would.

xoxo