Comtemplating.
I'm 18. I'm starting college, and I'm seeing everyone around me with a plan, or at least an idea, a want. And I just don't know.
Everyone has that one passion; that one desire. That one thing that's just it, what they want to do or what they want to get out of their futures. For some it's a career they love, for others it's a talent or pasion they've had for years, and for others it's a lifestyle.
But for me?
What do I want? I honestly couldn't tell you. Everytime someone asks me 'what do you want to be?' I answer differently, and everytime someone asks me 'what's your major?' I have to look down and mumble something about undecided. I hate this. Don't get me wrong-I love unpredictability, but I want to feel that passtion, that want or love for something, that drive for something.
I want things, but i just don't know...I just don't know.
I just want to inspire, I don't care how, or who, I just want to know that I've made an impact on this earth-that I've affected someone's life in a good way, that I've made people smile, that I've helped, that my life won't be wasted. I want to be happy. I want to look forward to going home after work every day, but I also want to look forward to going to work every morning. I don't want to dread. I want to love with everything in me and I want to smile my full-faced sincere smile every day. I want to have reasons to laugh, and I want to give others a reason to smile.
But how do I turn these things into a life plan? What do I want to do? It's all just so overwhelming and embarrassing-that I'm still 'undecided.'
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