Blog from two months ago

I wrote this forever ago...

I Ain't got no Sob Story to Write

Hi there, happy Friday.

I suck at blogging, have I ever told you that? Well, I’m telling you now. Let’s see…let’s blog…

Well, life’s been pretty uneventful for the past week or so.
Example: Today: I woke up (unwillingly, mind you), got ready in a half-awake state of mind, and headed to school. The first class was choir, and our teacher
decided that he didn’t want to have rehearsal today, but of course he forgot to tell 99% of us; not cool, I would have appreciated that extra hour or so
of sleep. Second period was precalc, and all I can say about that is that math is some cruel form of child torture, it’s still beyond me how I’m passing
that class. Third period was US History, in wich we got to listen to the teacher ramble endlessly about the 1960’s for 55 minutes. Fourth period was French.
I love that class, but an hour of testing/workbook things isn’t really that interesting. During English I just tried to stay awake; our student teacher
could literally put any person to sleep, and him + “Red Badge of Courage” is just all-around bad.

Lunch was the usual uneventful awkwardness, considering…everything that’s happened to my plummeting social life in the past year. During sixth period I
helped tutor a class of special ed. Kids. This experience has helped me decide that I no longer want to be a teacher for the disabled; I’m just not that
patient.
After that I went home, and I’ve been here ever since. Exciting, no?

I pretty much just need this year to be over; I really don’t enjoy heading to school at all anymore. I know most people say that, because, well, who wants
to memorize random equations and write the 6 different forms of a French verb five days a week, but my dislike of school actually goes beyond the basics.
I actually used to enjoy going, a while back, In like middle school, when I felt like I was part of the general population and had friends I could cry
and laugh with, people who I could walk down the halls with and not worry about stares or ignorant comments. But, I guess that was then and this is now.
I really don’t know when things really changed, probably when I went to TO High, and most of the people I hung out with went to Westlake.

Starting over was definitely not successful for me, especially not when I spent most of my free time doing work the other kids could do in class or at home
easily, with a special ed. Teacher, because nothing ever got brailled, and was completely inaccessible. That, however, has been a separate on-going problem
that almost got my school into a lawsuit this past year.
Anyways…

Ever since freshman year, when I tried to pull away from overbearing adults that thought that any disability meant you should be segregated from the world,
I guess people got some misconseption about me or something… Ever since then it’s been nearly impossible to hold a conversation with a fellow student that
wasn’t for a school project, or based around pity or something.
So, basically, I just go there to learn and get home as soon as possible, so I can avoid the general awkwardness and look-down-on-ness of that place. I
think that that’s one reason I really want to get out of this city (and this part of the state, if possible..) right after high school. I want to start
off new, with people who don’t know me and have no previous opinions about me. People that I can get to know now that I’m more confident with everything.
The new experience is what excites me and frightens me most about the future.

I know I can achieve what I want for the future, but no one ever said it would be easy, and I’m just trying to prepare myself for the challenges.

On another note, Kate Voegele’s “Lift Me Up” tour started today (
www.myspace.com/katevoegele
), and I totally wish I could’ve been able to see that amazingness that I’m sure was tonight’s show. I’m seriously mezmorized by the impact a musician
and the lyrics they sing can have on your life; how they can completely be your ‘weak strand on the rope from the rafters.’ I honestly don’t know how sane
I’d be had I not come across certain musicians that have given me hope and inspiration and helped me find things to look forward to and memories to treasure;
things that help me go on when I’m on the border of breaking. I’ve always tried to live by the “glass is half full” motto, if not for me then for someone
else,because just because I’m not optimistic about my life, it doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t give my all to make someone else’s day a little brighter.
My ultimate goal in life-before the success and career and the living up to expectations and the traveling the world dream-the one thing I must accomplish,
is to leave an impact. I don’t care on who, or on how many people, if I can make one person’s life better, if I can make one kid feel like things will
work out eventually if he or she just hangs on tight for a little while longer, well, then, my life will be complete.

And on that note, my phone’s ringing, and I’m gonna go answer it. Until next time, tumblrers…(I don’t think that word really works…)
-xoDais

“
I ain’t got no sob story to write
But just like everyone else,
I’m living this life
And you don’t need to win me over
“ –ANGEL by Kate Voegele